During today’s Indians/Cubs game, Andres Blanco was batting and he apparently did something at the plate that didn’t involve hitting the ball fair or foul or even swinging the bat.  In fact, Bob got started after Andres Blanco quickly moved out of the way of a high and tight fastball.  Players do this all the time.  Bob then said Blanco shows the same quickness at the plate that he does on defense and that there is an awful lot to be excited about for this young guy (Blanco). 

Blanco turned 25 years old in April so he’s not exactly young.  Then again, most Cubs fans think Micah Hoffpauir is young and Blanco could be Micah’s son for all I know.  25 isn’t that old, but it’s certainly not young for this game either.  Rich Harden is 27 and I don’t ever recall Bob referring to the then 26-year old as a young ballplayer after the Cubs traded for him. 

I don’t really mind Bob’s comments because I can spot bullshit, but the overwhelming majority of the fans watching the game cannot.  They listen to Bob and think that he’s the color guy and that he managed a team that won the World Series so he must know what he’s talking about.  That’s a poor assumption because it leads to Cubs fans thinking things about ballplayers that simply aren’t true.  Bob didn’t need to compliment Blanco in this way.  Quite frankly, he’s not deserving of that kind of praise.  How about we just say that he’s an exceptional fielder and move on because if you want to talk about his hitting (part of what would get us excited about a young ballplayer), we’re going to find out that the young Blanco hit for an OPS less than .650 in the minor leagues and that his career OPS at the big league level is less than .600. 

We’ve already seen some Cubs fans on BCB wondering if Jim Hendry is “showcasing” Andres Blanco.  These fans are getting the impression he’s potentially good at baseball from people like Bob Brenly.  It’s just pathetic.  There’s no need for it. 

During Saturday night’s broadcast of the Cubs and Padres in San Diego, Bob Brenly was talking about Hoffpauir’s 4 strikeouts from the previous game.  Hoffpauir was 0-4 with 4 K’s on Friday night.  Brenly said that Reggie Jackson and Sammy Sosa have struck out 4 times in a game and that it happens to the best of ‘em.  This is obviously true.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, but what makes this funny is that on Friday night when Zambrano came to the plate for his second at-bat, he struck out and Bob complained about how Zambrano should have put the ball in play to help score a run.  Sure, I’d have liked to have seen Zambrano shorten up his swing so he could put the ball in play, but a pitcher striking out against Jake Peavy isn’t exactly uncommon.  It’s Jake Peavy for crying out loud.  He strikes a lot of hitters out (including Hoffpauir 3 times). 

So, bad for a pitcher like Zambrano to strikeout.  Pitcher strikes out one time in two at-bats.  Bob complains.  Bad Zambrano!

Right fielder striking out 4 times in 4 at-bats.  Happens to the best of ‘em.

According to Bob Brenly, the Padres 1st baseman is a combination of the greatest players who have ever played this game.  Shortly after the Padres/Cubs 4 minutes and 12 second rain delay, Bob Brenly said the following:

he’s Albert Pujols, Barry Bonds, Chipper Jones all rolled into one right now.

Bob said this after Gonzalez’s 2nd home run of the game.  I don’t think he was serious.  I hope he wasn’t.  Bonds is perhaps the greatest hitter in the history of the game.  Pujols is easily one of the best in the game and he has a lot of his career left.  Chipper Jones is just a damn good hitter and has done it for a very long time.  Adrian Gonzalez is good at baseball.  There’s no doubt about that, but he is not a combination of 3 of the greatest hitters in the history of the game.  Not even remotely close. 

Once again, Bob Brenly making Cubs fans dumber. 

Thanks to melissa for providing the quote. 

Bob’s former employer might be looking for a new manager.  FBB nominates this guy. 

In today’s pregame prattle, we were treated to this exchange:

Quote from Alfonso Soriano put on the screen: “We’re too much relaxed. We’ve got to go out and fight, we’ve been giving the “W” to the other team…the last two years I saw more hunger to win.”

Len:  “I really like that quote from Soriano, Bob.”

Bob Brenly :“You know if you’re going to make a comment like that you HAVE to back it up. We know in the past Fonzie’s been a guy that DIDN’T always run hard down the 1st baseline, turned a lot of doubles into singles by standing at homeplate and watching the flight of the balls. I have no real problem with his comment but you need to go out there and back it up and SO FAR in the early part of this year he has done that…”

We at FBB can only imagine the effusive praise Brenly might have rained on, say, Craig Counsell, had he uttered a sentiment like Soriano just did.  But instead of praising the man who who has carried the Cubs this season for trying to step up and lead from the front, Bob finds cause to criticize him yet again. 

Bob Brenly is shaping the way fans view Soriano’s play, and he’s doing so in a negative way. 

Bob Brenly makes fans dumber.

You rarely hear an announcer praise a player for making the routine plays, but Bob Brenly does that when it’s Ryan Theriot.  Last week he praised Theriot for about 45 seconds after he fielded a routine hopper.  Today he praised Theriot for covering 2nd base. 

Also, with regards to Johnson’s catch last night…

Rather than just giving Fielder the compliment he deserved for his actions following Reed Johnson robbing him of a grand slam, Brenly has throw in some bullshit just for good measure.

“Fielder tipped his cap to Johnson…he probably wanted to throw his cap at Johnson, but he tipped it anyway.”

Just tell the fans that he tipped the cap, Bob.  That’s your job.  Let them figure it out from there. Stop trying to shape opinions.  This is ridiculous.  Brenly does this crap all the time. 

One of the things that I have occasionally thought about is that Cubs fans, and the media, called Ronny Cedeno a dumb player.  I’m sure I’ve done the same thing as well, but it was after a dumb play.  Why is Ryan Theriot not referred to as a dumb player by the same fans?  He is undoubtedly more useless on defense, and not much more valuable on offense.  The simple fact that Theriot gets thrown out on the bases in some way or another makes him a far worse baserunner than Cedeno.

Anyone remember the play that caused people to begin calling Cedeno dumb?  It was when he over-slid the bag at 2nd on a walk.  It was a close pitch at the plate on a 3-2 count that could have gone either way.  This would be why the catcher immediately threw to 2nd even though Jack Jones earned the base on balls.  Cedeno couldn’t hook his foot around the bag and his momentum carried him past it.  The fielder then tagged him out.  This play (and probably a few other lesser plays) was enough for the fans to forever call Cedeno a dumb player.  How many dumb plays has Ryan Theriot made?

In yesterday’s game alone he made a flurry of stupid mistakes to last a ballplayer an entire season.  Bob Brenly finely called him out, though he did so without the bullshit tone he did so with a far greater player in Alfonso Soriano.  It was a pleasant surprise to at least hear Brenly finely call out his boy toy.  It took awhile though.

In the first inning Ryan Theriot made a throwing error that ended up resulting in the Brewers first run of the game.  He managed to air mail Derrek Lee, which is difficult to do.  In so many words, Brenly found a way to blame Lee for that error.  The scorer blamed Theriot and we know official scorers are brain dead, but Brenly couldn’t find it in himself to blame the one he loves.  This was no surprise as Brenly has been a Theriot-apologist for years now. 

Later in the game he called off Alfonso Soriano on a play hit to shallow LF.  He then didn’t make the catch and the WGN cameras focused on who?  Yeah, Alfonso Soriano.  The one who was called off.  Brenly did say he should have let Soriano make the play, but with the cameras focused on Soriano it was clear who we were to blame for that play.

So far in the game Theriot had made an error and should have been charged with another error and each time, in one way or another, it was the other player’s fault.  Brenly has played this game many times when it comes to Theriot and it’s fucking bullshit.

I don’t remember the inning, but Theriot had reached base (something he did well yesterday) and was picked off.  He was out, but the umpire felt bad for Theriot and called him safe.  Not a word from Len and Bob or the media.

Late in the game with Mike Fontenot at 1st base, Fontenot is thrown out at 2nd base trying to steal on what was an obvious hit and run.  The booth says that “a sign was missed.”  Yeah, and it was Ryan Theriot who missed it!  At least this time they didn’t come out and blame Fontenot as they had the previous 2 fuck ups.

Theriot also tries to call off 2nd baseman Mike Fontenot on an infield popup on the 1st base side of the bag.  He almost ran into him and appeared ready to push him over to get the popup, but gave way in time for Fontenot to make the catch.  To no surprise, there was not even a peep to be heard from the booth about this.

And finally, Theriot didn’t know how many outs there were in the 9th.  Apparently unaware of the large scoreboard behind him or that he was at double play depth, which kind of means you want the double play, Theriot gets a hard hit ground ball which would easily be two outs, but he throws some weak-ass throw to home plate that bounces and is on the wrong side of home plate.  The runner is safe and the game is over.  Bob Brenly finally managed to say a negative word about Theriot.  Was it the “you could throw a dart” comment that he ridiculously made about Soriano when he lost a ball in the sun last year?  Oh no. 

that was a real poor decision by ryan theriot.

After fucking up all game while blaming others, Brenly does at least blame Theriot, but poor decision?  It was a decision that those who have an IQ under 70 wouldn’t have made.  It was a poor decision for someone who is mentally disabled.  It was fucking stupid for someone who is supposedly of average intelligence (I’m highly skeptical this is true here). 

So, can someone tell me why Ronny Cedeno was the one who gets called dumb?  Theriot fucked up more in one game yesterday than Cedeno did in all of 2006.  Maybe Cedeno is dumb.  I don’t know, but I do know that if we’re going to call Cedeno dumb then we need to call Theriot things that are much, much worse. 

Bob Brenly just told us all about how Kosuke Fukudome is likely to be more comfortable in 2009 than he was in 2008.  Now, I don’t doubt there’s a certain comfort level that has improved for Fukudome though I expect much of it has to do with the team.  He doesn’t feel new anymore and that probably feels good.  Bob said that one of the things he’s more comfortable about, and therefore will make him a better player, is that he now knows where to eat in downtown Houston.

So, next time you go in to ask for a raise, tell your boss that you’re more comfortable with your job because you know where to eat lunch and that will make you a more productive employee.  Let me know what your boss says.

Bob Brenly, 2006:

What’s to say somebody like Atlanta, St. Louis, or Cincinnati - the places were it gets so humid during the summer - won’t want to use a dehumidifier to dry the balls out so they are rock hard before being put into play? I think they are toying with the integrity of the game when they start altering the ball itself.

Oh, really, Bob?  Seems when you were a player, you were much less concerned about “the integrity of the game.”  Bob Brenly, 2001:

“We had a professional cabinet maker/woodworker in the clubhouse on our staff in San Francisco. I’m sure he wasn’t there to hang jocks.”
—Bob Brenly, Diamondbacks manager, on who corked the bats for the Giants

That hardly sounds critical.

“I’ve played with some of the best and most notorious bat corkers of all time—guys who turned it into an art form. They literally should have hung some of those bats in a museum. There is no way in the world you could tell they were corked without an X-ray.”
—Brenly

That sounds downright proud, like a father cooing over his son’s success.

“Let’s put it this way. One of the keys to corking a bat is you have to drill a hole down the middle of the bat into the hitting area. Then you pack it with pieces of chopped cork as tightly as you can pack it. The key is the plug you put back in the end of the bat.”
—Brenly

You seem to know a lot about this, Bob…almost as if you’ve had first-hand experience.

“I played with a player who saved the last inch and a half of dozens and dozens of broken bats. When he was ready to plug that hole, he would take all the little caps and match them up so the grain lined up exactly perfect with the plug he put back in. That’s a master craftsman.”
—Brenly

Why are we hearing about this now?  What happened to your grave concerns about “the integrity of the game?”

“They usually don’t check the bats of .247 lifetime hitters.”
—Brenly, asked if his bat was ever questioned

And here I thought Bob was too stupid to utilize Orwellian doublespeak.

Let’s just keep these quotes in mind that next time Bob goes into a mustachioed rant about how players altering their bodies and teams altering the balls are threatening the game. Because, when Bob was a player, he saw people cheating right in his own clubhouse and not only did he do nothing, he actually admired their work.

Well done, Bob.

In the first inning of tonight game against the Astros, the Cubs showed a replay of Milton Bradley tracking a fly ball into the stands last night.  Milton high-fived a fan, which was rather humorous.  What did Bob say?

“Given Milton’s explosive past any time he gets over near the bleachers you worry…”

Yep, there was so much reason to worry last night that a fan nearly tried to hug the guy and ended up with a high five. 

Bob Brenly makes fans dumber.

I’ve tried this before and while I did enjoy keeping up with it, it was too difficult to keep up with 2 scripts so this time it’s running on the same script as ACB does.  It’s also set up the same way. 

Soon we’ll be getting back to attacking Brenly ignorance and we look forward to doing it.  Thanks to IIAM for the logo, which is just as creepy as Bob is.